What Does Childhood Trauma Really Mean?
When you hear the word childhood trauma, what comes to your mind? Abuse? Domestic violence? Loss, grief, neglect?
Well, let me tell you, childhood trauma is much more than that. It leaves effects on your body and mind that are difficult to comprehend. Especially when you are a child who is just learning and growing. Now your whole identity revolves around just surviving.
Today, I was listening to a podcast of Ranveer Allahbadia where he was interviewing Prajakta Koli. There, Ranveer asked her how her childhood was, and she said it was normal and that she feels lucky to have had it.
She then went on to explain how she was treated with respect, corrected when she was wrong, and appreciated when she did something good. She had a say in matters, was spoken to with respect, and never had any fear facing her parents.
Well, when I heard these things, for me it felt like she lived in a parallel universe. Are these things really happening?
When Survival Becomes Your “Normal”
What you see around you becomes your normal. And then you have to fight hard to change your environment, rewire your brain, and unlearn the things taught to you by parents who were never ready to be parents in the first place. Mourn the childhood you never got, and lastly, forgive them because they didn’t know any better.
Well, it’s been 29 years of my life, and I am learning every day. Let me tell you, it’s not easy. The brain of a childhood trauma survivor does not function the same way as someone who had a normal childhood.
You still long for what your friends had. You feel jealous when you see children receiving love from their parents. But, that’s the thing, your journey will always be a little tougher from those having a normal childhood. And, that my friend is something you need to accept.
Two Roads Diverged : What Did You Choose?
There are two roads that you can take: the one where you become bitter, insensitive, and a source of pain for everyone around you, or choose the difficult path of being kind, focusing on yourself to improve and heal.
When you start doing this – the healing part, you begin to attract good friends, a kind and loving parnter, and gratitude slowly finds its place in your heart.
Well, isn’t this something worth working for?
Childhood Trauma Changes your Goals & Dreams
People with childhood trauma don’t always chase big goals. More than anything, they just want to feel peaceful and happy from within. And honestly, that’s the case with me too.
My dream is simple, a peaceful home filled with love and emotional safety. I don’t dream of a big house or a certain salary like many of my friends do. What I want is different, and I think that’s fair, because we have all grown up in different environments.
I don’t want to pass on the trauma I have unconsciously learned to my child. I want to do the work, every single day, to become a better human being so that they don’t have to carry what I did.
And if, after reading this, you related even a little, I want you to know, I understand your pain. And I’m really glad you’re choosing to heal.
Just hold on.
